This is a question that frequently pops into my head as I continue to update my blog. Okay, I went to Cal (against all odds!) and you'd think I'd be as confident as anyone who graduated from the much-touted "#1 public university in the world!" But alas, my own self-doubt creeps in and lingers in the background, like the presence of a nasty ingrown hair..ick! I feel like Will Smith in an episode of the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" as he contemplates whether or not to defy uncle Phil. In my mind's eye, I see two 'mini-me's perched on my shoulder; one optimistic angelic version that's telling me to "Dream Big" and think back to the time when I was applying to colleges and never even dreamed that Cal would take a look at my app, whereas the other 'mini-me is a horned little devil wielding a pitchfork and poking my neck, while all the time snarling, "What the heck are you thinking? Are ya nuts? How can you ever manage a 700 on your GMAT! You didn't even graduate with any honors!" Ugh! As much I've tried to knock the little brat off my shoulder, I can't help but feel the evil mini-me's effect on me (oh, the irony of it all!). I think what I'm experiencing has a lot to do with what sociologists term as lacking "social capital." Those of us who weren't brought up with a sense of entitlement often lack the resources to tap into places of privilege.
But with every eerie cloud, there is a silver lining. Mine comes in the form of the blogs I've been blogstalking to the right of the screen. I don't even know these people, but I feel a connection to them already, as they've already been there and done this or are going through the same thing as we speak. I am hopeful that whatever MBA program I ultimately get accepted into, my future classmates are as welcoming and REAL as my fellow bloggers have been to me.
Oftentimes (and more than I'd like to admit), I, too, am consumed by the stats of getting into an MBA program: How competitive is my GMAT score? What if I don't have a 700? What if I didn't graduate summa cum laude? And then you hear about the overachieving dorks who complain about 740 GMATs and have unbelievably stellar resumes at major corporations and my next question is the one we've all been asking ourselves: What are MY chances of getting in? Do I even have a shot in hell of getting into places like Wharton, Chicago and Harvard?
Honestly, I wish I could tell myself "Yes! You are frickin awesome! You are SOO going to get in anywhere!" But I know doing so would be a big fat lie, well except for the me being awesome part:) But here's what I can say and I'm sure you can empathize with me. "I'm going to keep it real and do the very best I can to ace the GMAT and show the adcoms that there's nobody else like me out there who has more passion and heart for advancing educational access and equity for under-served and under-represented people of color than me! And with that comes power and perseverance to pursue my dream of getting an MBA." If you're reading this, I know you've already joined me in lending your unwavering support for this endeavor and for that, I'm ever so thankful. So, shall we knock the little devil off her perch now?
1 year ago