Am I MBA Material?

This is a question that frequently pops into my head as I continue to update my blog. Okay, I went to Cal (against all odds!) and you'd think I'd be as confident as anyone who graduated from the much-touted "#1 public university in the world!" But alas, my own self-doubt creeps in and lingers in the background, like the presence of a nasty ingrown hair..ick! I feel like Will Smith in an episode of the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" as he contemplates whether or not to defy uncle Phil. In my mind's eye, I see two 'mini-me's perched on my shoulder; one optimistic angelic version that's telling me to "Dream Big" and think back to the time when I was applying to colleges and never even dreamed that Cal would take a look at my app, whereas the other 'mini-me is a horned little devil wielding a pitchfork and poking my neck, while all the time snarling, "What the heck are you thinking? Are ya nuts? How can you ever manage a 700 on your GMAT! You didn't even graduate with any honors!" Ugh! As much I've tried to knock the little brat off my shoulder, I can't help but feel the evil mini-me's effect on me (oh, the irony of it all!). I think what I'm experiencing has a lot to do with what sociologists term as lacking "social capital." Those of us who weren't brought up with a sense of entitlement often lack the resources to tap into places of privilege.

But with every eerie cloud, there is a silver lining. Mine comes in the form of the blogs I've been blogstalking to the right of the screen. I don't even know these people, but I feel a connection to them already, as they've already been there and done this or are going through the same thing as we speak. I am hopeful that whatever MBA program I ultimately get accepted into, my future classmates are as welcoming and REAL as my fellow bloggers have been to me.

Oftentimes (and more than I'd like to admit), I, too, am consumed by the stats of getting into an MBA program: How competitive is my GMAT score? What if I don't have a 700? What if I didn't graduate summa cum laude? And then you hear about the overachieving dorks who complain about 740 GMATs and have unbelievably stellar resumes at major corporations and my next question is the one we've all been asking ourselves: What are MY chances of getting in? Do I even have a shot in hell of getting into places like Wharton, Chicago and Harvard?

Honestly, I wish I could tell myself "Yes! You are frickin awesome! You are SOO going to get in anywhere!" But I know doing so would be a big fat lie, well except for the me being awesome part:) But here's what I can say and I'm sure you can empathize with me. "I'm going to keep it real and do the very best I can to ace the GMAT and show the adcoms that there's nobody else like me out there who has more passion and heart for advancing educational access and equity for under-served and under-represented people of color than me! And with that comes power and perseverance to pursue my dream of getting an MBA." If you're reading this, I know you've already joined me in lending your unwavering support for this endeavor and for that, I'm ever so thankful. So, shall we knock the little devil off her perch now?

Researching MBA programs

So I've been up to my neck google-ing, blogstalking and webstalking to get the dish on which MBA program I may be applying to for Fall 09. After much online research and thanks to a knowledgeable and highly motivated community of prospective and current MBA bloggers, I've narrowed my choices down to 5. After weighing the pros and cons of full-time and part-time MBA programs, I've decided that if I get admitted into a CA program close to home, I will go ahead and pursue a part-time MBA. However, why not give myself the benefit of the doubt and aim for some of the top 10 out-of-state full-time MBA schools? I've been going back and forth, forth and then back again on this decision b/c of 1 major reason: I have a mortgage to keep up and with the icy real estate market in CA, I know selling is not an option.

So why, then, aim for the stars? Hmm...maybe because I've learned that one can only achieve the unforeseeable by dreaming the impossible...and each and every day I go out to speak with students on pursuing an education, I am constantly reminded of my own advice to them: "NEVER shut the door of opportunity on yourself! You'll never know unless you strive!" So, when it comes to my own goals, why not practice what I preach? I can't think of any reason not to....except for the bling bling factor, but even there, I know things will look up. (Let's think good thoughts:)

Another reason for my consideration of out-of-state MBA programs is this: It's probably going to produce the biggest return on investment and if I'm opting for something outside CA, it better we worth it! That for damn sure! As to which ones...keep on reading my blogs to find out! And this may change as well since my GMAT performance will be a HUGE factor in my final decisions. I just took an assessment GMAT and let's just say I'm sure glad I'm going to my Manhattan prep course tomorrow! :) Let's see what happens....I can only go up from here!

GMAT here I come!

Alright, so after countless hours perusing around at the U of Google, and blogstalking MBA reviews, I have finally buckled down and handed over 1390 smackers to the makers of Manhattan GMAT. I swear this better pay off...or else..well, I don't know what the heck to do. I'm not a fan of standardized testing, much less shelling out big bucks for the mere prospect of acing them, but I have to admit that when it comes to increasing my odds of being admitted into my top MBA programs, I had to bow down and put aside my otherwise biased and unsettling views of the test-prep companies. One reason being that I CANNOT afford to NOT get into any MBA program for Fall 2009.

Another reason? Well, after nearly a year of contemplating long and hard over my future career prospects and where I see myself in a decade or so from now, I realized that although my heart lies in education and access, I don't see my financial security lying there as well. And then I began to ask myself: "Is being immersed in higher ed the one and only way of impacting change OR (lightbulb over my head) can I create change and generate greater impact elsewhere in a more propituous sector of society?" As I ruminated over my response to this question, my dear friend, JC was on the verge of completing her MBA program at Davis and she, like me, had her stint in the non-profit world for quite some time and please believe, you don't go in wishing to be a millionaire when you enter this arena. So, as much as she loved her job, she also marveled at the idea that she could one day comfortably afford to rent in the highly-overtly priced bay area, drive her car without having to calculate the horrendous price of gas to whatever destination she decided AND low and behold, have the liberty of shopping for organic (oftentimes costly) and sustainably-harvested food items that help us lead a greener lifestyle. Now is that too much to hope for? She encouraged me to see the business world as a channel for affecting change in the social sector, but also as a means for people like us to afford the everyday necessities we oftentimes are compelled to deem as luxuries given the state of our economy nowadays. So, eventhough I have never endeavored to consider applying to any MBA program, I realize that maybe it's time for me; that maybe, there must be a good reason why I haven't applied to any graduate programs to date and that maybe, my future lies in an MBA program that will take me 3 years worth of my life to complete.

I begin my first GMAT prep course this coming Saturday, so I'm excited to see what my 1K and then some has brought for me. It better be good. Stay tuned.